Only Want What We Can't Have
by At the End of Dreaming
Summary: Human nature said that people tended to want what they couldn't have. Doctor K and Ziggy talk about the people they want but can't have, only to realize that they might not be so far out of reach. slash, femslash. Kenaya, Diggy


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Power Rangers or anything related to the franchise.**

Only Want What We Can't Have

"So, Tenaya, huh?"

Doctor K jerked her head up, her hands freezing over her keyboard and her eyes going wide with horror as she stared at the Ranger leaning against the doorway to her lab. She watched as Ziggy walked further into her lab with a grin. "I mean, I thought I had it bad." He continued, either oblivious to or ignoring her horror. "I fell for someone who is obviously attracted to someone I consider my sister. But you, you just had to go for the enemy didn't you?" he asked, stopping a little ways from her and smiling devilishly. "You are twisted."

She stared at him for a long moment before gulping and telling him, "I don't know what you're talking about Series Green."

He stared right back at her and nodded. "Uh huh." he said, clicking his tongue in disbelief. She tried again, this time with indignant anger. "I do not appreciate what you're suggesting Series Green."

That made him grin even wider. "I'm sure." he said. "Admit it. You like Tenaya." He said. She watched as he nodded again, looking suddenly thoughtful. "I mean I can understand. She's very attractive. If I was into that sort-of thing I'd go after her." he paused then continued. "Well, if I was into that sort-of thing and she wasn't, you know, evil and all. But hey, if that's what does it for you..."

Doctor K was mortified to feel a blush creeping up her neck and over her cheeks. Even as she tried to push it down, her mind registered his words. If he was into that sort-of thing? What did that mean? He had fallen for someone who was interested in someone else? It took her only a minute to figure out who he was talking about. "Dillon?" she asked in surprise. But now that she thought about...

Ziggy shrugged, hitching one leg up on the desk. "What can I say? Have you looked at the guy?" He inquired. He gave her a stern look, the hints of another smile at the edges of his lips. "But no changing the subject. Back to you and Tenaya!" he ordered.

She hesitated, unsure just how far his comfortability with her feelings for Tenaya extended. Finally she settled for, "I do find her attractive."

It got her a bright smile. "She's very pretty." He agreed and K wondered why her throat closed up at the words. "So not my type but she's very pretty."

"And what is your type, Series Green?" she asked in an attempt to drag the conversation away from herself. Ziggy shrugged. "Oh, you know, the strong silent type."

The answer made her smile slightly. "You mean Dillon." she translated.

Ziggy gave her a wide smile that faded almost as quickly as it appeared. "I've been an orphan for as long as I can remember, Doc. And all I've ever wanted is to **be** wanted, to be protected. That's why I'm so close to Dillon. He makes me feel...safe." He told her, a dark, slightly haunted look in his eyes. "I understand why you like Tenaya, which is mostly why I'm so comfortable with the attraction." He continued, shaking off the subject of him and Dillon. "You've lived nearly your entire life locked away inside. Tenaya is something new and unexpected. You're attracted to how free she makes you feel. Like you're finally making your own decisions."

She paused, thinking about the words. She decided he was right. Somehow, knowing there was a very good, if slightly irrational, reason for why she felt the way she did about Tenaya, made her feel slightly better about the attraction. "Yes, I guess you're right." she said.

Ranger Green smiled at her brightly. "Human nature." he told her. "We only want what we can't have." There was something undeniably sad in his tone and his eyes as he hopped off his desk. He moved towards the door, waving in her general direction. "Well, bye Doc." He called, walking out of her lab.

She sat back in her chair, thinking about his words. Human nature, eh?

---

It was a week before she understood why he looked so sad. It was during one of the few times she stepped out of her lab into the main area of the Garage. Ziggy had been leaning against the side of Dillon's car as Ranger Black worked on it. She had looked away for a long moment but when she had looked back Dillon was finished working and was walking away. Ziggy was watching him go, a longing expression on his face.

She had realized then what made his relationship with Dillon different from her relationship with Tenaya. Her and Tenaya had stolen moments away from everyone else, moments that they shouldn't have had and didn't really deserve.

But Ziggy could have no such thing. He was forced to be by Dillon's side everyday and never once be able to reach out and touch him like he wanted to. He could only watch from the sidelines, never able to actually say how he felt as Dillon and Summer slowly got closer and closer. He couldn't do anything about his feelings.

It made her feel horrible. Her and Tenaya had several very hot and passionate moments that they truly didn't deserve. Ziggy had nothing like that, not even a moment of affection meant solely for him. And he deserved it more than anyone.

---

She stopped working when Ziggy entered her lab with his head bowed, arching an eyebrow at him. "Is something wrong, Series Green?" she asked. Ziggy looked up at her and she bit back a gasp when she saw him. Any traces of the smile he normally wore were gone and there were tears in his eyes. She was on her feet before she realized it, walking over to him. She stopped in front of him, looking at him for a long moment before she reached up and wrapped her arms around him.

Ziggy was tense for a long time before his arms came up around her as well, shaking slightly as he buried his head in her shoulder. "What's wrong?" she asked. Ziggy let out a sob, tightening his hold on her.

"I love him." he muttered. "I really do."

Doctor K pressed her lips together when she realized what this was about. This was about Dillon.

"I'm **trying** to be there for him." Ziggy continued. "I'm **trying** to support his relationship with Summer. I'm **trying** to be a good friend for him. God damn it, I'm **trying**! But it gets so hard! Damn it! Why can't I be selfish just this once?" He sobbed.

She gulped, holding him tighter to her. "Sh, sh." she whispered, unsure of what to do as she started to gently rock him. "It will be okay."

They stayed like that for a while before she heard voices approaching her lab. Apparently Ziggy heard them as well because he pulled back, one hand wiping away the tear tracks on his cheeks as another combed through his hair. She moved away from him, watching as Scott and Dillon entered. Immediately, Ziggy turned towards them with a wide smile. "Heyguys, what's up?" he asked.

She felt her eyebrows shoot up to her hairline as he grinned at them. If she hadn't been here mere seconds ago, she would truly believe there was nothing wrong with him. She stepped to the side, watching as the three interacted. Never once did Ziggy ever show any sign of the breakdown he'd just had. Just how good at lying was he? And how long had he been lying like that?

After about a minute Ziggy and Scott started to walk away, completely engaged in the good-natured argument they were having. Dillon made to follow them then stopped and looked at her. "Something I should know?" he asked her, his eyes suspicious.

She thought about it for a moment then nodded. "Don't trust what Ziggy's mouth is doing. It's not always telling the truth." She advised, still surprised by how well Ziggy had covered up his pain. She realized that if she truly wanted to know how Ziggy was feeling she was going to have to look a lot closer then she was now because he didn't plan on showing anyone anything he didn't want them to see.

Concern replaced the suspicion in his eyes as he nodded. "I'll keep that in mind." He looked like he was going to leave but he once again turned back to her. "Do you ever...feel helpless around him? Like there's absolutely nothing you can do to help him?"

Doctor K sighed, part of her wondering when she had become the Ranger's psychiatrist, and nodded. "I am starting to." she whispered, realizing how true it was. Ziggy was...complicated. She never knew how to handle him. Just when she thought she understood how he worked he did something she didn't expect. Like breaking down and then seconds later acting like nothing was wrong.

Dillon looked away. "Yeah." He agreed, turning to leave. As he did so, she caught something in his eyes, something like...affection or maybe...love? A small smile tilted her lips. "Maybe you should tell him that." she whispered. "That you worry. He might surprise you."

He nodded, walking away. Doctor K turned back to her computer, feeling strangely better about...everything. Maybe there was hope for the two after all.

And if there was hope for them, then there was hope for her and Tenaya.

---

It was the first time she intentionally put herself in a position for Tenaya to find her. She waited calmly in the shadow of two buildings, surrounded on three sides by walls. She waited for a while, for some reason trusting that Tenaya would find her. Her patience was rewarded.

"Well, isn't this interesting." Tenaya's voice whispered. K turned around to see the young woman leaning against the wall with a smirk, her eyes glinting in amusement. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were waiting for me."

She shrugged. "I'm starting to believe in the unexpected." she said cryptically. Tenaya arched her eyebrows, her smirk growing. "Really?" she drawled. Doctor K nodded. There was a moment's pause then Tenaya approached her.

This kiss wasn't like their others. It as soft and gentle, warm with the slightest hint of caring. She leaned against the slightly taller girl, her arms wrapping around Tenaya's neck. For once, she didn't even think she shouldn't be doing this. It felt comfortable and...right.

---

When she got back to the Garage, she felt like she was practically glowing with happiness. She walked through the building, watching as her Rangers walked around. Gem and Gemma were walking, no, hopping down from the upper level with smiles on both their faces. Scott, Flynn, and Summer were in the kitchen, laughing as they shared jokes.

And sitting in the break room on the couch was Ziggy and Dillon. Dillon's arms were wrapped around Ziggy's waist, holding him close as he whispered something in the boy's ear. Ziggy was leaning against him, a wide smile on his face. His eyes were bright and alive and happy. And would you look at that; he was glowing.

Human Nature said that people tended to want what they couldn't have. But sometimes, if you got lucky, those things become something you can actually have. And it looked like they had gotten lucky.


End file.
